27 December 1922

La Prieuré, Fontainebleau, Avon

My darling Bogey
   I think the drawing of you is quite extraordinarily good, and in a very subtle way. I had no idea Rothenstein was that kind of artist. People will say it makes you look old. That is true. But you have that look. I am sure c'est juste. I am more than glad to have it & I shall keep it v. carefully. Thank you, my dearest. The photograph I don't like so well for some reason. But photographs always pale before good drawings. Its not fair on them.
   How is the old Adam revived in you, I wonder? What aspect has he? There is nothing to be done when he rages except to remember that its boundto be - it's the swing of the pendulum - ones only hope is when the bout is exhausted to get back to what you think you really care for aim for wish to live by as soon as possible. It's the intervals of exhaustion that seem to waste so much energy. You see, my love, the question is always ‘Who am I' and until that is discovered I don't see how one can really direct anything in ones self ‘Is there a Me.' One must be certain of that before one has a real unshakeable leg to stand on. And I don't believe for one moment these questions can be settled by the head alone. It is this life of the head, this formative intellectual life at the expense of all the rest of us which has got us into this state. How can it get us out of it? I see no hope of escape except by learning to live in our emotional & instinctive being as well and to balance all three.  [To J. M. Murry, 26 December 1922.]