21 Nov 1921

21 November 1921

Chalet des Sapins, Montana-sur-Sierre, Switzerland

But you see I am not a high brow. Sunday lunches and very intricate conversations on Sex and that ‘fatigue' which is so essential and that awful ‘brightness' which is even more essential - these things I flee from. I'm in love with life - terribly. Such a confession is enough to waft Bliss out of the Union . . .
   I am sending you a postcard of myself & the two knobs of the electric light. The photographer insisted they should be there as well.
   Yes I live in Switzerland because I have consumption. But I am not an invalid. Consumption doesn't belong to me. Its only a horrid stray dog who has persisted in following me for four years, so I am trying to lose him among these mountains. But "permanently compelled" oh - no!
   If you are ever in the mood to talk about writing I hope you will believe me when I say how happy I shall be - as a ‘fellow worker' - to listen. I am glad you enjoyed Bertie Russell. ‘Nimble' is just the word for him.
   Goodbye. I hope you will write wonderful stories; numbers of them.
   One could not wish anyone greater happiness than that.
                                 Yours sincerely,
                                Katherine Mansfield.
 [To William Gerhardi, 20 November 1921.]

Nov. 21st. Since then I have only written The Doll house. A bad spell has been on me. I have begun 2 stories but then I told them and they felt betrayed. It is absolutely fatal to give way to this temptation. . .Today I began to write, seriously, ‘The Weak Heart', a story which fascinates me deeply. What I feel it needs so peculiarly is a very subtle variation of ‘tense' from the present to the past & back again. And softness, lightness, and the feeling that all is in bud, with a play of humour over the character of Ronnie, and the feeling of the Thorndon Baths, the wet, moist, oozy...no, I know how it must be done.
May I be found worthy to do it! Lord make me crystal clear for Thy light to shine through. [KM Notebooks 2]